The Douche hat is a special hat that allows you to say and write douchy things while wearing it. An example of this would be stupid terms and catch phrases that companies come up with like shape strategy, champion change and build talent, blah blah, blah. One must then use these phrases to describe oneself and what has been accomplished for the past year lets say. For mere mortals it is quite hard to be so douchy so this is where the Douche hat comes in and saves the day. Once on phrases like "I collaborated with courage and stood in the face of diversity to champion the change needed to build talent and optimize strategy that achieved the results needed to deliver customer value" flow like the Nile after a monsoon.
Other uses for the Douche hat would been when someone tells you they just found out their parents cat, Jamba, that you raised since he was a baby and traveled cross country with you, and is so great and quirky and big and beautiful and only 6 years old, has cancer and 3-6 months to live and you respond with "so I got a call back for a second interview". Thanks Mark. Nothing like writing a whole lovey blog about you yesterday and then douching me right in the face the next day. Rock on with you self-consumed ass.
The Douche Hat in action
Jamba-Lamba-Ding-Dong, Elvis cat. You'll always be the "King" to me
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